The other day I met an acquaintance in the supermarket and we got to discussing my latest challenge, the fact the I have to move out the home we are renting and I have been unable to find anywhere to move to. The conversation spread to other hard challenges I have had to face over the few years he has known me. Then he made a comment that made me smile. He told me I had the perfect personality to deal with them all - I just laugh at them.
Of course his comment and view overlooks the aspects he never sees. The heartaches, the shed tears, the stress I often feel. But there was some truth to his words that I laugh at challenges and it got me thinking as to why that is. Is it really just personality? Or is it something more?
Whether it was the death of my wife, the crazy move to the USA, the financial difficulties, a failed marriage, visa difficulties, losing my job or any one of a number of other major challenge thrown at me over recent years, I always have seemed to be able to pick myself up with a smile and solider on. My motto became "It's life, deal with it."
I will not belie, there are times when it feels too much, when I seem to be carrying the woes of the world on my shoulders. There have even been times I have broken down and cried like a baby. But one thing I have realized when these moments occur is that it is more about self-pity than anything else. At the end of the day how I feel is within my own power. Feeling sorry for myself will not help improve things, indeed it often results in not facing up to the reality. And that is another lesson I have learnt over the years - trying to avoid a situation and hope it goes away never works. Once I decide to face the problems head on, whatever they may be, it is surprising how easy many of them are to deal with. Our fear is often the biggest obstacle to solving a difficult situation.
Another aspect that has always helped me get through the challenges is a sense of humor. Perhaps that is part of my personality, perhaps it is part of my British upbringing, but I have always been able to see a funny side. I remember in the later stages of my wife's cancer treatment going to see one of the Lord of the Rings movies. My wife was a third of her previous weight, little more then skin and bones, she had lost her hair, and her eyes seemed to bulge. As we sat there, the creature Gollum came onto the screen and I could not help noticing the resemblance to my wife. We sat there in the theater and had a great laugh together. Later she would refer to our children as her "precious," in Gollum's tone of voice, as she would chase them around the house. Another time after I had graduated from my MBA program, I was penniless, had no work visa, and had no idea how I would survive. I used to tell people "I'm destitute and close to being homeless, but hey I have an MBA."
So personality? Perhaps, but just remember life is full of challenges, it is no use complaining about them, and trying to run away from them just leaves you further from the solution. So face up to them, accept them for what they are, stop feeling sorry for yourself, which is a total waste of time and energy, and look for the positive in life. It does not matter how dark it gets, there is always something positive you have.
And above all, stop taking life so seriously. Cry a little, but laugh a lot.
