Saying "Hi!"

Many people I know find it hard to believe, but I am a very shy person. I struggle making new friends. The idea of going up to a stranger and starting a conversation fills me with dread. If I go dancing, chances are I will spend the whole evening without asking anyone to dance. There have been times in my life when I have gone weeks without having anyone to talk to. I remember years ago when I lived in Scotland and knew no one on a social level, I would spend evening after evening sitting at the end of a bar just to be around people, but would speak to no one. It was a very lonely time of my life, and truth be known, I felt somewhat pathetic and very sorry for myself because I was not able to reach out to others at the time.

This condition affects far too many people. The fear of going up to an unknown person, or even someone you might know, but not that well, and starting a conversation, for many is very real. What should I say? How will they respond? Are they going to be interested? What if they don't like me? What if they just ignore me? These are just some of the questions that go through people's minds. It is one of the reasons that there appears to be so much loneliness in the world these days.

A while back I came across this little quote, that started to change the way I think.

“I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stunned by this for many years. And then I realized, you just say, "Hi." They may ignore you. Or you may marry them. And that possibility is worth that one word."

~ Augusten Burroughs

I came to realize, that it doesn't really matter if someone ignores me, because the possibilities of new friendships and relationships are enormous. And after all what harm can simply saying hi do?

I was minded of this the other day meeting an old friend at a party. She was accompanied by a good girlfriend of hers that I had not met before. In the course of the evening I got to asking how they knew each other. Turns out that my friend had been out with a group of guys one night, and one of the guys had noticed this girl at the next table. The group had been encouraging him to go say hi, but he was too scared. So my friend said leave it to her, she would go talk to the girl. Well after saying hi the two got to chatting and ended up becoming best buddies, and a few years later are still great friends. The guys by the way ended up getting ignored and left. The point is that if you don't take the time to say hi, you never know what you might be passing up in terms of friendship and opportunity.

So in this disconnected world of ours, the next time you are out and about, take the opportunity to say hi to a stranger. You really never know what the possibility that one small word might bring.